


I'm on Fire

by feentanz



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Extended Scene, F/M, Smut, basically what should have happened in the fold after zoya took her kefta off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:35:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22724800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feentanz/pseuds/feentanz
Summary: Nikolai reached for her, the way he had wanted to so many times before. He traced the line of her jaw with his fingertips, tilting her chin up. Zoya was barely breathing. And yet he could feel her shivering, shivering under his touch. That was enough confirmation for Nikolai. He leaned in further, lips hovering just above hers. Giving her a chance to pull away. His fingers ran along her neck, down her still exposed back. Zoya’s gaze wavered for a moment, darting down to his lips, then back up to his eyes. A silent confirmation, although she never spoke.
Relationships: Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	I'm on Fire

“Every lover I’ve taken has asked about those scars. I make up a new story for each of them.” 

He found he did not want to think of Zoya’s lovers.  
  
“And what did I do to earn the truth?” Nikolai still found himself staring at her, at her exposed back. Zoya hadn’t turned, her gaze fixed to the empty air in front of her. She didn’t move even when he got to his feet, slowly approaching her, against every bit of logical thinking, against the voice in his head which was telling him to stop. 

“Offered me a country and faced imminent death?” Zoya replied, but not with her usual sharpness. She was glancing at him over her shoulder, her blue eyes gleaming in the dim light. But she still wasn’t moving. 

Nikolai forced himself to stop right behind her, ignoring the instinct of his body to step even closer. “It’s important to have standards, Nazyalensky.”   
  
Zoya offered the briefest of smiles, but it did nothing to conceal the sadness on her face. 

He wanted to offer her comfort, but he had no idea how to. This wasn’t what they usually did, what they allowed themselves to feel. They kept each other marching. 

And yet, because he was most likely about to die anyway, Nikolai allowed himself to act. His fingers traced the faint lines of the scars on her back. 

Zoya’s breath hitched audibly, and he noticed the way her lashes fluttered for a second. “Nikolai-” she whispered, but he barely heard her. 

Instead, he leaned forward, lips grazing the top of her shoulder blade. The briefest of touches, but it was enough to shatter his self-control entirely. The tight grip he had kept on himself around Zoya, all those months, years even. All the immunity, gone with a single touch. 

Zoya took a shaky breath and then turned. She was right in front of him now, looking up, her face still guarded. Hesitating. She had never looked more beautiful than at this moment. 

He had expected her to step away then, to break the moment, to make the responsible decision. And yet Zoya kept perfectly still. 

Nikolai reached for her, the way he had wanted to so many times before. He traced the line of her jaw with his fingertips, tilting her chin up. 

Zoya was barely breathing. And yet he could feel her shivering, shivering under his touch.

That was enough confirmation for Nikolai. He leaned in further, lips hovering just above hers. Giving her a chance to pull away. His fingers ran along her neck, down her still exposed back. 

Zoya’s gaze wavered for a moment, darting down to his lips, then back up to his eyes. A silent confirmation, although she never spoke. 

He couldn’t hold back anymore. Whatever routine they had found with each other, whatever balance, it was all off now. They had crossed a line, and there was no turning back. 

Nikolai closed the distance between them, and before he even realized anything else he was kissing her. He hadn’t been prepared for the wave of sensation which crushed over him then, or for the way Zoya opened her lips under his, her arms suddenly around his neck. 

Her tongue flicked against his and then he was drowning, drowning in the feeling of Zoya Nazyalensky pressed against him, _kissing_ him out of all things. 

Dying suddenly didn’t seem so daunting anymore. 

There was no stopping once they had begun. 

Zoya gasped as Nikolai pulled the silk of the _kefta_ off her body, pinning her down on the ground, right in front of the fireplace. She had lost all sense of caring, of anything which wasn’t his lips on her own. 

She tilted her head back to allow him access to her throat, his lips nipping at the skin, leaving her trembling. Never before had she felt anything like this, the sheer force of longing daring to crush the two of them. 

She wrapped her legs around his torso, pulling him closer, making up for all the moments where she had pulled back instead of slipped closer. All the moments they could have had, instead of this very last one. 

Zoya peeled the shirt off his body, letting her fingers run along the lines of his back, not allowing herself to think twice. There was no doubting this anymore. She gasped as Nikolai’s kisses went down her throat, along her collarbones, his fingers running over the lace of her bra. She arched her back, pushing closer, _needing more._

Nikolai’s fingers traced along her spine, leaving an array of shivers in his wake. His lips nipped at her throat as he opened the clip of her bra, thumb running along the underside of her breast. Zoya felt her skin light on fire at the touch, releasing a gasp as her nails dug into the skin of his back. She had trouble breathing. 

And then his kisses traveled across her chest, exploring every inch of her skin. Zoya buried her hands in his hair as he kissed down her stomach, keeping her eyes closed in an attempt to keep herself together. 

_This_ was the reason why they had never indulged in this before. Because it was too dangerous. Because now they would never be able to stay away ever again. 

Zoya gasped as Nikolai’s lips returned to her own, pulling him closer, closing every inch of space that might be left between them. His tongue swept across her bottom lip and there was no going back anymore. Perhaps ever. 

Nikolai silenced Zoya’s moans with kisses as he sank into her, hips rolling against hers, his fingers digging into the skin of her hips. She ran her nails across his back, probably leaving marks, but neither of them was in the state of mind to even notice. 

Because tomorrow, they would face the monster head-on. 

Zoya pressed closer against Nikolai, arching her back, needing more contact. His lips skimmed across the skin of her throat, then her chest. She was on fire, every nerve ending of her body screaming. 

Nikolai quickened his pace, kissing her again as he noticed her tensing around him, his hands now buried in her hair. Zoya dropped her head back against the floor as she came, the world spinning around her as she closed her eyes. 

For a moment, neither of them moved. Nikolai’s warm breath was caressing her cheek, his body still pressed against hers. Very softly, he ran a hand along her thigh, removing her legs from his body. 

Zoya didn’t trust herself to move just yet. She was panting as Nikolai rolled off her, struggling to even fill her lungs with air. In that moment, she couldn’t think about what had just happened, how many of her personal rules she had broken. 

Nikolai was sitting up, running a hand through his hair. For a second, he looked lost. 

It wasn’t any day that Nikolai was left speechless, and so Zoya felt the need to say something. “You’ll come back.” Her voice filled the silence of the room. “You’ll defeat the monster and we will go back to Ravka and drag this country out of the mud.” 

Nikolai shot her a look of obvious surprise. “Since when are you an optimist, Nazyalensky?” 

Zoya didn’t look away. Not this time. “Your bad influence, your Highness.” 


End file.
